Admittedly, I'm scattered. Is this the mid-20s crisis?
Like most of the youngers, am currently laying out the possible opportunities apt for my education, talent and skills. But laying out such plans will never be easy if you want to do all things in the world! I work more than 8 hours a day, sleeps 6 hours, 4 hours travelling home to work, diet and hygiene for a total of 3 hours and 3 hours for my social life. That's what weekdays smell. Common, tiring, humid and dusty air.
In the other planet of my wishing cerebrum, am thinking of setting up my own exhibit room. With my weird paintings hanged around the smokey white walls, with jaw breaking masterpiece that worth million mullahs, with my name reflected in every wow my audience would say. On the other side of my hallucinating brain, is my own dress shop. When I was this (leveling at my fattening belly) little, around 5 or 6, am already starting to draw my own Avon brochure-- I'm just not sure what I called my company then. I drew all the items with corresponding ambitious amount. Question raised on the blackboard (wow, I still wonder why it's black, when it's green; luckily I can google later and afterwards feel fulfilled after): "What do you want to be when you grow up?" My answer: To become a fashion designer! Snap. Today, I'm a nurse.
Maybe am not a nurse. I'm really an EA. This is not your famous game or whatsoever. This is a combat, a mud field, a survival race, a mortal soul sold to live another organism. Hahaha! Do I sound --- how will I describe?--- Maybe those words will already do to describe.
I want to live on those silent parts of my personality. They were silent because of the job I have right now (seeing that what I do now is 3 mountains, seas, civilizations, millenniums away from what I want). But I am 24, I'm young and I cannot hate what I did to my life. In fact, I'm proud of it -- including mistakes, downfalls, failures. I am just confused. How I wished I could enable that sort button (as in Microsoft Excel) to my juggling thoughts. But hey maybe I shouldn't hurry. Maybe I should spongebob absorb the values, the moneeey, the wisdom I may get in this battlefield. I can try to live that part of my cerebrum, build small foundations on it, one by one... Now am being excited. Now am kinda not confused anymore. Now my head can lie down lightly.
To the daisyland,
LAI :)
Sagal sa Gubat: May 12, 2012
Wedding Gown Designs: April 25, 2005
